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Ok, maybe I did lie about not having any stories from the north, ah well. Jeff has recovered, and just in time for a special Super Bowl clash between two couples out to stage claim to the title of strongest, wittiest, coolest, and all around nuttiest Road Rover couple there is. Live, atop the icy cold north, we present to you: Road Rover Super Bowl I, the Battle of the Couples!! Now, let's go to our booth high atop this icy wasteland as we welcome in our game commentators Mars and a special guest, William. Take it away fellas:
"The anticipation, is over," Mars announces, 'It is now time for Road Rover Super Bowl I: The battle of the couples!! Brought to you live on K9TV! Along side William here, we will have almost all of the action, except for potty emergencies, in what should be one of the most gruesome and scary shows of football power." "You're right, Mars," William says, "Now let's take a look at where these guys are coming from. Let's start with Star and Blitz, who have named their selves the Killer Hounds with Heart. Here's Star's bio:"
The screen then reads:
Star McGermanSheperd
From: Orlando
Experience: 0
Lucky Charm: Necklace
Whiskers: N/A
Favorite Team: Herself
Role Model: Dimitri
"She seems confident to me," Mars says, "And Blitz?"
Blitz Wolfghang Dobersnauschen
From: Berlin
Experience: Little
Lucky Charm: Collar
Whiskers: You get in his face!
Favorite Team: His own
Role Model: Himself, or Arnold
"Blitz seems a little strange to me," William says, "I'm not so sure that he's confident in his abilities. Or at least he was too bored to come up with a better bio." "I'd o with tthe 2nd," Mars says, 'Now for our 2nd team. Led by Colleen and Jeff, two who actually decided to get married, their team is named the IceRoyalDogs. Here's Jeff's bio:"
Jeffrey Caninus
From: ?
Experience: Frisbee
Lucky Charm: Can't say on national TV, ok, his briefs
Whiskers: Who in the durn world cares?
Favorite Team: Anyone he's cheering for!!
Role Model: His dad
"Jeff sounds confident!" Mars says, "The Jeff-Blitz match-up should be one for the ages. But Jeff should sweep him off the earth. Let's look at what they had to say about each other before the game."
Jeff Video
"Blitz is a punk. He has a chance to prove his strength, but I wouldn't be suprised if he doesn't show."
Blitz Video
"Jeff will learn. I am quick and smart. I will win."
"I think that Blitz forgot someone there, Star," William comments. "And maybe we should give Colleen's bio before we get our first potty, er, commercial break of the game." "Here goes," William says.
Colleen Caninus
From: England
Experience: Kicking Blitz around, throwing Blitz around
Lucky Charm: Who needs one when you are going to win?
Whiskers: Huh?
Favorite Team: IceRoyalDogs
Role Model: Jackie Chan
"Anoter fun bio. Well, we'll be back right after this flush, I mean commercial break."
---------------------------Commercial Break---------------
"And we are back, and boy do we feel better now!" Mars says. "Much better!" William agrees. "Well, before the opening kickoff," Mars delays, "Let's take a look at some rule changes in today's games." "Sure thing Mars," William says, "First off, the football isn't just any old football. Inisde it are bones to the sky. And the winner of the game gets to keep the football. And a turnover earns the team an extra bone. Now, down to sideline reporter, wait, there is no sideline reporter, nevermind. Well, we're ready for kickoff, as the IceRoyalDogs will be kicking to the, um...other team." "I think we should call it S/B vs J/C," Mars says. "Agreed," William replies. 'Well, here's the kick by J/C," Mars says. We then see Colleen nail the heavier football. Blitz then catches it in his endzone. "And out comes Blitz," Mars says, as he gets to the 5, 10, 15, 20..." We then see Colleen running at Bltz. She then lunges at Blitz, and nails him. The ball then comes lose. "And we got a fumbled ton!!" Mars says. We then see Jeff fall on it. "And J/C has recovered. " "Wussy weird boy!" Jeff says. "And I think that was the biggest hit I've seen in my entire career!!" William yells. "That's the first hit that you've seen in any career," Mars replies. "Good point," William says. "And now in comes the offense for J/C. Hiking, receiving, and running will be done by Jeff, while Colleen will quarterback." "And it's 1st down from the S/B 23," Mars says. Jeff then hikes the ball to Colleen, who gently sets the ball to the ground. "What is she doing now?" William asks. Colleen then karate kicks a blitzing Blitz to the ground, and pick him up. "Looks like she's got a second football!" Mars says. Colleen then kicks Blitz through the goalpoasts. "Well, in my entire career, that i the play that I look back at and go 'Huh?'" William says. "And it looks like they're going to give J/C 3 bones anyway," Mars says, "For a field goal. And they get to keep the ball." "Is there a ref?' William asks. "Of course, we have refs who we paid $10 to sit and watch this show," Mars says. We then see a bunch of refs sitting and watching the Super Bowl pregame, with a sign reading "J/C" and a sign reading "S/B." "It's S/B''s turn next time," one ref says. 'Gotcha," another replies. "And it's 2nd down and 10, I think, still from the 23," Mars says. Colleen then takees the snap and laterals to Jeff. "Now let's see what Jeff has come up with," William says. Jeff then pulls out his blow-up gun, and turns into 12 feet! He then turns Star and Blitz into 3 feet tall! "Another inventive play by Jeff!" Mars says, "Have fun tackiling kiddos!" Jeff then jumps over the smaller dogs, and runs into the endzone. "Is there a rule against that?" Mars asks, "Obviously, yes! The refs have signaled a penalty!! Jeff is stunned!" "That's unconsciousnable!" he whines. "2nd and 15 from the 28," Mars says. Colleen then gets the ball, and pulls out the laces. She then throws the bones up for Star and Blitz to eat. he dogs then fall on them, but notice that they are rubber. We then see Jeff running with the real ball. "Come back here!!" Star shouts. Colleen then pushes Blitz into the ground, but Star makes a dive for Jeff, trips him up, but not before he scores a touchdown! "Touchdown, J/C, what a play!!!" Mars says. "The ol' fumbaruski, gotta love it!" William says. "Are you sick of these refs?" Star asks. "Definetly!" Jeff shouts, "Lets get them." "10 minutes later..." Mars says. We then see no refs, instead they are snow covered snowmen!" "And now the game is fair!" William says. 'Well, now J/C is going for 2." Colleen then takes the ball, and spits on it. "Oooh, Colleen germs!" Blitz says as he hides his head in the snow. Star then trips over him, as Colleen scores 2. "And now it's 11-0," William says, "And S/B has to do something with this ball or the only thing they will earn today is one nasty cold." "And there is nothing worse than.." William says. "A wet dog with a cold," Mars and William say together. 'Well, here's the kickoff," William says. Star then catches it, and hops in a snow-mobile driven by Blitz. "It's the old driving down Highway 40 play," Mars says, "I haven't seen this one since Grudlienkielo was president." "Grudlienkielo never was president!" William says. 'Exactly my point," Mars replies. Then, as they get to the 0, Jeff jumps in the mobile. He then ries to grab the football, but hits the accelerator instead. He then lies there helpless as the mobile flies through the endzone. "What's the call on that one?' William asks. "Who know," William says, "Now for the extra-point, wait they're going for 2." We then see Jeff reversing the motor on the mobile. "And it looks like that old Highway 40 play again!' William says. Then, just as Star cranks the motor, the snowmobiles heads backwards, and Jeffhits the accelerator. It then flies into the snowpile in the other endzone. "That mobile must be Marshall brand, as in Jim Marshall," William says, 'Well, that's 2 more for Jeff and Colleen, and at the end of the first quarter, our score: Jeff and Colleen 13, Star and Blitz 6. We'll be back with the 2nd quarter after this word from our desperate game sponsor Spam."
------------------Spam Commercial-----------------
"And we're back," Mars says, "And I'm feeling better again." "And something strang, again, has happened down on the field!! Star and Blitz are getting the ball back! Let's ask Jeff about this. Jeff, why are they getting the ball back?" "Because we just aren't an offensive team," Jeff says. "This game has gone from silly to ridiculous," William says. "What you didn't get it?" Mars asks. 'Offensive?" "Ah, I get it now," William says, as the two start laughing. We then see Star catch the football, on a string to a boat that Blit is driving. "Now it's Lake Erie 1102 set Rover," Mars says, 'Don't ask me where I got that from." Then suddenly, the string breaks, and Star goes flying off out of bounds, and falls right into the camera. The camera then falls down. "Not a great retun by S/B, only 5 net yards!" William says. "Yeah, I think a metal rope may work better next time, or a plastic camera, ouch!" Mars says. "And so it's 1st and 10 S/B from their own 13 yard line," Mars says. Blitz then takes the ball, and throws it to Star. Star then breaks past Colleen, and throws a bunch of ice water at Jeff's knees. He then falls. Star then runs all the way for a touchdown. 'And we have a 1-point ball game!" William says, 'On the craziest playI've seen in my career!" "I'll bet on that," Mars says, 'And it looks like S/B is going for 2." We then see Star and Blitz in a huddle. "Let's give 'em what they gave us, spit ball!" "Gotcha!" Blitz says. Bliz then gets the ball, spits on it, but Colleen doesn't care, she nails him and sens the ball flying. Jeff then tries to pick it up, but it is so slippery that it just rolls out of bounds. "Ad yet another crazy play!" Mars says, "Jeff had a highway to a 2 pointer on that play, but because of Blitz's spit, it remains a 1-point game." We then see Colleen with the ball off the kickoff, and she begins running forward. Then, suddenly, Dimitri runs across the field, folowed by Arnold. "Dimitri!" Star shouts. "Arnold!" Blitz shouts. The two then chase them, while Colleen runs to the endzone. However, she slips on the ice and she goes flying one way, the ball the other. The ball then lands right in Blitz's hands, ight as he reaches Arnold, right before he goes out-of-bounds. 'Will you sign this please? You're my idol!!" Blitz says. Colleen and Jeff are hitting their heads in the process.
For more story click More RR Super Bowl!! Cya there!